Eager Beaver,
I was the subject of what at first was a flattering conversation and then turned into a "what the ....?" I wore a new top today and apparently the color is very good for me (summer is my best season, because one male co-worker couldn't keep from commenting on how good I looked! Which, of course, I totally appreciated! Then another male co-worker came by and asked what we were talking about and the first said "look at her!" and the other co-worker said "Oh, yeah, she looks good but I don't look at her as a sexual object..." and the first says "Pity you!" which made us all laugh. But the other co-worker continued and said "Yeah but she doesn't yell at you in morning meetings so I look at her as a wife." We all laughed at that too, and yes, he was kidding about the yelling, but technically in our morning meetings I am the "boss" of him so we knew what he was saying. Umm, yeah, so we knew what he was saying...that wives aren't sexy! Because then I said "Oh, so that's when women become desexualized, when we become wives, remind me not to let that happen again!" Aaargh! It's true though: marriage desexualizes you which is why you see so many women and men get their A-game back on when they're going through a divorce or right afterwards. It's so frustrating, I mean, I think I may want to get married again some day, jury's still out, BUT I definitely don't if my husband will eventually just see me as a piece of furniture again. I guess that's why there are sooo many articles in women's magazines about rekindling the romance. It's just one of the inherent pitfalls of living with someone on a daily basis and I'm not sure there is a solution to this with even the best intentioned couples. Maybe that piece of paper is where it all goes wrong? Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, together over 27 years! Here's what Goldie has to say about not being married but keeping the relationship alive:
"I think the secret is to know when to depend on somebody and when not to. It’s important that you are able to hold up your side of the house. I believe that one person can’t bear the whole burden because then their shoulders start getting heavy. The other part is to stay as sexy as you can and make sure you focus on all of those aspects of a healthy relationship — and sexuality is definitely one of them."
Read more: http://anythinghollywood.com/2009/03/hollywoods-golden-couple-goldie-hawn-and-kurt-russell/#ixzz1QhpsNPP4
I'm not sure why married couples let it go but I think it's an attitude of "I got the prize so now I don't have to try anymore." Which is exactly the opposite of what you should be thinking, you should probably be trying even harder to "keep the prize" because unfortunately that old but familiar saying "familiarity breeds contempt" is true for a reason. So, Eager Beaver, I know you want to be married some day, and that's a good thing, but please remember to keep your sexy on, not just for your spouse but for yourself too!
-Still Got it Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
First of all I have to say you are ONE HOT MAMA! You were hot when you were married and you are still smokin' hot now that you are single, and look at least 10 years younger than you actually are. So I am certainly not surprised that your male co-workers were commenting on how good you look. I do think it is interesting though that he said he saw you as a "wife" which is why he couldn't look at you in a sexual way. How about because of the fact that you work together... haha regardless it makes me wonder about what is waiting at home. I don't know if it's just women in marriages or long-term relationships or what. Why would you let yourself go, once you get what you've worked so hard for? I really don't understand that mentality at all... not even a little bit. Like really, just because you get married you are allowed to gain a bunch of weight and get stop dressing nicely or fixing your hair or make-up when you are going out with your man? When I find a man that I want to spend the rest of my life with, then I will be working every day so my husband looks at me as the hot and sexy woman he married and not just another piece of furniture. I want to always be the most attractive thing in my husbands life!! We will NOT let this happen to us. I would hate for my future husband to say something like that to his co-workers. And looking good and taking care of yourself makes YOU feel good too, and it shows that you take pride in yourself. I plan to keep workin' it til my last days on this earth!
-EagerBeaver
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
How Soon is TOO Soon?
Hot Mama,
I have a question for you... how soon is too soon? And no, I don't mean how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy! I mean how soon is too soon to move in with a guy? I am now entering my mid-twenties and I only have a few friends who live with their significant others. Most of the time they say it's for "financial" reasons, because that is what they tell their parents, however, I think a lot of that is BS. My older sister just called me today to tell me that her current roommate is moving out, and now she is stuck looking for a new roomie and a new place. So naturally I suggested that she move in with her boyfriend.
She is right around the same age as me and they've been together for a couple years now, and friends since college. But no sooner had I said it than I started thinking, is that really good advice?? I used to think that my parents would be COMPLETELY against one of us girls living with a BF. They are both pretty old fashioned, especially my Dad. And what father really wants to think about his daughter shacking up with some guy?!? I mean even when boyfriends are visiting at my parents house, there is absolutely NO sleeping in the same bedroom, not when we're under "their roof." But I recently had a conversation with my Mom about my younger sister and her longterm boyfriend, and she is the one who suggested that they live together. I was floored, but she made a good point... Since she's graduating from college and planning on moving home, my Mom would rather KNOW that she is always going to be sleeping at her boyfriends because she lives there, than wondering if she is coming home everynight. I guess it makes complete sense, especially if it would give her a more sound mind. But still, at this stage of the game, are we old enough to be living with boys?? Is this just the first step towards wedded bliss? 
I don't know, but I love living with my roommate and having someone to paint my nails with, and someone who will ALWAYS watch "The Notebook" with me, and who keeps a clean house. I am definitely not at the stage of the game in my life (I don't even have a man), but still, even if I was in a serious relationship, I think I'd still want my space. I just feel so young still! So help me Hot Mama, what advice should I give my sister? Is it a recipe for a disaster or co-habitational harmony??
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
You're definitely not too young to be living with a long-term boyfriend nor is your sister. Remember, we girls used to be regularly married off at 15 and 16 and in your grandparents generation 18 and 19. So you're not too young at 25. And in today's day and age it definitely makes financial sense, especially if the couple foresees a long-term committed relationship. Why not start saving now on two rents, gas, water and utility bills? And it would be more stressful for your mom to have her home treated like a motel. Not to mention, the stress of wondering if your sister is ok. In terms of co-habitation leading to wedded bliss it's a mixed bag.
If you do it just to "try it" you won't have as successful a marriage versus already being engaged before you shack up. The theory is that if you're just "trying" it you probably have doubts and so the relationship was vulnerable to a break-up already. In my case, my husband and I were of the mind that we shouldn't co-habitate unless it was with the intention of getting married and back in the late 80's it was still somewhat shocking for parents to have their kids shack up. Why would you want to go through all the hassle of moving and co-mingling everything from bills to furniture only to know you were just "trying it out?" So we were committed and got engaged a month after I moved in. Unfortunately we still divorced 14 years and two kids later but we had a 17 year run and are still good friends. And I don't think it had anything to do with living together first but was a matter of who we were as people when we first met. So, Eager Beaver my advice is to wait until you meet the man you want to marry because there's no sense in giving up a Sunday marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" for Sunday football before you have to!
-Hot Mama
I have a question for you... how soon is too soon? And no, I don't mean how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy! I mean how soon is too soon to move in with a guy? I am now entering my mid-twenties and I only have a few friends who live with their significant others. Most of the time they say it's for "financial" reasons, because that is what they tell their parents, however, I think a lot of that is BS. My older sister just called me today to tell me that her current roommate is moving out, and now she is stuck looking for a new roomie and a new place. So naturally I suggested that she move in with her boyfriend.
She is right around the same age as me and they've been together for a couple years now, and friends since college. But no sooner had I said it than I started thinking, is that really good advice?? I used to think that my parents would be COMPLETELY against one of us girls living with a BF. They are both pretty old fashioned, especially my Dad. And what father really wants to think about his daughter shacking up with some guy?!? I mean even when boyfriends are visiting at my parents house, there is absolutely NO sleeping in the same bedroom, not when we're under "their roof." But I recently had a conversation with my Mom about my younger sister and her longterm boyfriend, and she is the one who suggested that they live together. I was floored, but she made a good point... Since she's graduating from college and planning on moving home, my Mom would rather KNOW that she is always going to be sleeping at her boyfriends because she lives there, than wondering if she is coming home everynight. I guess it makes complete sense, especially if it would give her a more sound mind. But still, at this stage of the game, are we old enough to be living with boys?? Is this just the first step towards wedded bliss? 
I don't know, but I love living with my roommate and having someone to paint my nails with, and someone who will ALWAYS watch "The Notebook" with me, and who keeps a clean house. I am definitely not at the stage of the game in my life (I don't even have a man), but still, even if I was in a serious relationship, I think I'd still want my space. I just feel so young still! So help me Hot Mama, what advice should I give my sister? Is it a recipe for a disaster or co-habitational harmony??-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
You're definitely not too young to be living with a long-term boyfriend nor is your sister. Remember, we girls used to be regularly married off at 15 and 16 and in your grandparents generation 18 and 19. So you're not too young at 25. And in today's day and age it definitely makes financial sense, especially if the couple foresees a long-term committed relationship. Why not start saving now on two rents, gas, water and utility bills? And it would be more stressful for your mom to have her home treated like a motel. Not to mention, the stress of wondering if your sister is ok. In terms of co-habitation leading to wedded bliss it's a mixed bag.
If you do it just to "try it" you won't have as successful a marriage versus already being engaged before you shack up. The theory is that if you're just "trying" it you probably have doubts and so the relationship was vulnerable to a break-up already. In my case, my husband and I were of the mind that we shouldn't co-habitate unless it was with the intention of getting married and back in the late 80's it was still somewhat shocking for parents to have their kids shack up. Why would you want to go through all the hassle of moving and co-mingling everything from bills to furniture only to know you were just "trying it out?" So we were committed and got engaged a month after I moved in. Unfortunately we still divorced 14 years and two kids later but we had a 17 year run and are still good friends. And I don't think it had anything to do with living together first but was a matter of who we were as people when we first met. So, Eager Beaver my advice is to wait until you meet the man you want to marry because there's no sense in giving up a Sunday marathon of "Say Yes to the Dress" for Sunday football before you have to!-Hot Mama
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Call me Mrs. Kardashian...
Hot Mama,
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
It's no secret that I am addicted to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians." And I do in fact, keep up with the crazy clan. In the most recent episode Kris is debating changing her name from Jenner back to Kardashian. Which naturally made me extremely upset, as I am a huge Bruce fan. And I think he puts up with so much from the women in that family, the ringleader of which is Kris. So she says that she thinks she should change it back because Kardashian has become a "brand." And as she says, "People already think I'm a Kardashian and call me Mrs. Kardashian."
I think the best part was the reaction from all of the girls when Kris told them. Both the Kardashian and Jenner girls couldn't believe the audacity of Kris. Kendall even went so far as to say, "How could you disrespect my Dad like that?" Which is so true! Who do you think you are Kris?! You are so lucky to have a wonderful and devoted husband who has put up with you and your shennanigans for 20 plus years. Not to mention that he RAISED the Kardashian children as his own! Such a sign of disrespect. And really is it worth the attention / fame / whatever she thought she would get out of this to emasculate her husband and on top of that really hurt his feelings? He's the one who goes to sleep with you every night, not the press, not the public, but him. I just couldn't even believe it. Then at the end of the episode she makes a big announcement at a family dinner that she feels bad about considering changing it to Kardashian and that she loves Bruce and that he's the best thing that ever happened to her. It's like, YA RIGHT, you just feel bad cause everyone guilted and shamed you and Khloe called you a "fame whore!"
-Eager "Call me Mrs. Jenner (Brody that is..)" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Not much to say except that I agree with you 100 percent!! Shame on Kris and...Khloe has her mom pegged.
-Hot Mama
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Why Doesn't Anyone Ever Tell You...???
Hot Mama,
I know, I know I am only in my twenties and I probably have no right to complain about this... but it's not just me, my roomie has totally made comments about this too. What is going on with our bodies? I seriously feel like my metabolism has just stopped. She and I both laugh at each other because we keep noticing all of these changes in our shape (and size!) I used to be able to hit the gym and drop any weight that I gained in a heartbeat. Now, I go on vacation for two weeks and gain 8lbs, and I come back and can't even lose the 8lbs in a full 8 weeks. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!? It is so traumatizing. And to top it all off, I feel like I am getting to a point where I want to just give up. Is this common? Or are she and I both just lazy and need to make a change? It's not like we are gaining tons of weight or anything like that, but my body is just totally reflecting my lifestyle like it never did before. And to not be able to drop my vacay weight quickly has been such a blow. If I would've known before I left that it would be like this on my return, I would have put down my cheeseburger with bacon, avocado, fried onions, and a fried egg, and picked up a salad fork instead. UGH, this is too traumatic!
-Eager"WTF"Beaver
Beautiful Eager Beaver,
Welcome to womanhood. It always amazes me when other women look at girls in their late teens and early twenties and get discouraged! Soon enough those girls will be in their mid-twenties and everything will change. They will finally be in their women's bodies! You don't really know what your body is like until you hit this age. I've seen it happen again and again. Don't despair but this is now your "real" body, your other body was your girl body. Maturing aint all fun. And not to be a downer but wait until you hit my age and you gain another 8 pounds and can't get rid of that! And you're still remembering what your body was like at 22, 16 - 20 pounds ago, and thinking why is it so hard to get there? It's just life as a homosapien. And it's the same for men. It sucks for sure because there is nothing you can do about it except eat less and exercise more...a lot more. It's so true that you can't eat like you did just a year or two ago and that's the same for my age, it seems to happen overnight, it's awful! You can get rid of it, it's just not as easy as it once was! Or you can just enjoy your 25 year old body for another 25 years (because you're gorgeous just as you are) if you're not having kids, never mind about after a baby cuz that's a whole nother story, or figure out what works for you calorie and exercise wise to get your 19 year old body back NOW before life catches up with you again! The good news? Men seem to love us just the way we are at 19 or 49!
-Hot Mama
I know, I know I am only in my twenties and I probably have no right to complain about this... but it's not just me, my roomie has totally made comments about this too. What is going on with our bodies? I seriously feel like my metabolism has just stopped. She and I both laugh at each other because we keep noticing all of these changes in our shape (and size!) I used to be able to hit the gym and drop any weight that I gained in a heartbeat. Now, I go on vacation for two weeks and gain 8lbs, and I come back and can't even lose the 8lbs in a full 8 weeks. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT!? It is so traumatizing. And to top it all off, I feel like I am getting to a point where I want to just give up. Is this common? Or are she and I both just lazy and need to make a change? It's not like we are gaining tons of weight or anything like that, but my body is just totally reflecting my lifestyle like it never did before. And to not be able to drop my vacay weight quickly has been such a blow. If I would've known before I left that it would be like this on my return, I would have put down my cheeseburger with bacon, avocado, fried onions, and a fried egg, and picked up a salad fork instead. UGH, this is too traumatic!
-Eager"WTF"Beaver
Beautiful Eager Beaver,
Welcome to womanhood. It always amazes me when other women look at girls in their late teens and early twenties and get discouraged! Soon enough those girls will be in their mid-twenties and everything will change. They will finally be in their women's bodies! You don't really know what your body is like until you hit this age. I've seen it happen again and again. Don't despair but this is now your "real" body, your other body was your girl body. Maturing aint all fun. And not to be a downer but wait until you hit my age and you gain another 8 pounds and can't get rid of that! And you're still remembering what your body was like at 22, 16 - 20 pounds ago, and thinking why is it so hard to get there? It's just life as a homosapien. And it's the same for men. It sucks for sure because there is nothing you can do about it except eat less and exercise more...a lot more. It's so true that you can't eat like you did just a year or two ago and that's the same for my age, it seems to happen overnight, it's awful! You can get rid of it, it's just not as easy as it once was! Or you can just enjoy your 25 year old body for another 25 years (because you're gorgeous just as you are) if you're not having kids, never mind about after a baby cuz that's a whole nother story, or figure out what works for you calorie and exercise wise to get your 19 year old body back NOW before life catches up with you again! The good news? Men seem to love us just the way we are at 19 or 49!
-Hot Mama
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Money Matters...
Hot Mama,
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Last night I was chatting with my best friend on line and out of the blue, he posed a question to me that really got me thinking. How much does money matter? I mean, I have less than no experience in this regard, so I have to defer to you on this one. And I know what I think, but I am just curious as to how you see it! I know you live a lot like I do, and I wonder with your ex-husband how things were for the two of you. Below is a piece of our conversation...
HIM: When you get married, would you want a joint bank account?
ME: haha depends, would I marry someone with more money than me, or less money than me?
HIM: um...less, but interesting side note
ME: So here is what I think, #1 I know the type of person that I am and how I am with my money. And it would be necessary for me to find a partner that feels the same way about money that I do. And #2 I like living well and enjoying my life. I am not a person who pinches pennies or saves every dime, and it would be hard for me to be with someone like that. I also couldn't justify everything that I buy, it would be too exhausting for me. That being said, I definitely wouldn't mind sharing my money. I would consider myself a very generous person, and I know that you can't take it with you, and I like sharing what I have. If my husband thought I was too frivilous spending money on clothes or what have you, then I would understand if he wanted to keep money separate. But to me, it's all about combining lives, and I would think that would be part of it... BUT I would also like a separate account on my own, because if I buy my hubby a gift, I'd want it to be from money I earned, not his or our joint account, because it's just not as special that way.
Did you and the ex-hubby have a joint account? Did you have an issue combining funds? And then I think now that you've been on your own for a few years and dealing with your own finances and financial issues, what would you do if you got married again? Is there a security in combining assets or a security in NOT combining assets? And I made a joke to him about depending on whether or not my man made less money to me, but I wonder if that would ever be a part of it. For someone my age I make a pretty decent salary, and the likelihood of me being with a man who makes less than I do, does in fact exist. I want to be idealistic and think that I could be in a great marriage where money wasn't a big issue, but I am not naive, and I know that is NEVER the case! And then, when kids come in to the picture, things just get even that more complicated!
-EagerBeaver
Eager Beaver,
Interesting that you bring up this topic as I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now and we were just discussing the issue of joint and his and her accounts. The couple operate as my ex and I did, we had a joint and separate accounts. Into the joint we put money for all necessary things such as food, rent, gas, water, phone, utilities, medical, etc. and we each had our own accounts for discretionary spending. In my ex-husband's and my case, we put it in as a percentage of our incomes because he made more than I did by a third to half. So it wouldn't really be equitable for me to have to put in half of the mortgage when I made so much less than him. In my friend's case, he is the bread winner and puts money into the joint account for all their mutual expenses plus some and now it's a sticky situation because it wasn't ever really "joint" as it was all of his money. Interestingly, experts agree with how my ex and I handled it and we didn't have a lot of signposts back in the day, it's just what made sense. Now, that's not to say that this prevented us from having money issues because it didn't. Especially when it came to saving and spending, do we "need" that muscle car (a classic 442 convertible Oldsmobile in tomato red) or a trip to Europe? And, you and I are alike, even back then I hated being told how to spend my money. In retrospect though, since money is one of the top two issues that dissolve marriages, I think that somehow swallowing your financial need for autonomy for the good of the union is paramount. I believe that you can the joint and separate but you need to have monthly or quarterly meetings on where you're at financially. It feels like being taken to task BUT if you're in it together for the long, long, long haul then you should plan for your future together. There was a couple we knew that did this and the wife would make fun of her husband for their "meetings", he had charts and everything, an engineer, but she sat down with him and did it. And they're still married! Even though they stopped having sex years and years ago because he's not sexually attracted to her anymore! And I'm not. So, the moral of this story is you can have it "your" way but be sure to have it "our" way too!
-Hot Mama
Monday, May 30, 2011
Ashley Let Your Brain Do the Thinkin' Not Your Hoohoo!!
Dearest Eager Beaver,
WTF? What on God's green earth is wrong with this season's Bachelorette? I have never seen a such smart, cute, tight-bodied woman with such low self-esteem! How is it possible that she had 25 eligible men get out of that limo in the first show and she falls head-over-heels for the kind of creepy guy a mother hopes her daughter never crosses paths with? If I were talking right now I would be stuttering because I just can't get the words out fast enough or loud enough to express my complete and utter dismay over Ashley's lack of sense. Here's an educated good-looking woman who's about done with dental school, has a to-die-for body, adorable personality (when she's not being annoying of course) and is so f'd up about her looks that she somehow immediately zeroes in on the biggest loser ever to come to reality tv because, according to Ashley, "he's hot."
Bentley had an X on his forehead from the moment he stepped out of the limo because she had been warned that he wasn't on the show for the right reasons. Yet, not only did she choose to allow him on the show she put him through TWO rose ceremonies and said he is the front runner for her affections. I say he is the front runner for her panties. God, women like her give women like us a bad name. Out of 25 guys her hoohoo managed to "nail" the worst in the bunch. She doesn't have a shred of common sense! He is not "hot" he is reprehensible and I would so like to meet the family he grew up in to find out how these people not just pro-created this cretin but raised him to be the lowest of low human beings.
Also, I have a big question mark over Ashley's parents heads right now too. How did she grow up thinking that everything she had going for her wasn't enough, that if only she was conventionally pretty she would be loveable? But no. She chases the wrong men constantly because she doesn't believe in or respect herself based on nothing but looks. Ashley use the brain God gave you and your heart! If you connect with a man in these two areas your hoohoo will follow! She really is behaving no better than a man right now, all eyes no brains. I'm just disgusted.
-Hot Mama
OMG Hot Mama,
No other Bachelorette has ever bothered me more than Ashley. I just can't even deal with her at all and I really couldn't agree with you more. Her insecurities are so completely glaring. I thought that we saw them on her season with Brad, and now they are even more clear. It's like REALLY?!?! A friend of yours texts you and tells you that Bentley is there with bad intentions and doesn't actually want to pursue you, and somehow you still decide to keep him around?! And not just through one rose ceremony, but multiple rose ceremonies. Is it just because he is good looking and this is the first "hot" guy who has ever been interested in her? It's really interesting that you say that she doesn't think that she is good enough.
It seems like she is so uncomfortable in her own skin and so wrapped up in her looks. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for poor Ashley going forward when she has to watch these episodes. Seeing all of the terrible things that Bentley has said about her, and wishing that it was Emily or Chantal instead of her... It's certainly not going to bolster her self-esteem. But really she needed Hot Mama around to teach her about being self-confident and picking a man who is there for the right reasons! I don't know how I am going to make it through the rest of the season watching her doubt herself at every single turn!
-Eager Beaver
WTF? What on God's green earth is wrong with this season's Bachelorette? I have never seen a such smart, cute, tight-bodied woman with such low self-esteem! How is it possible that she had 25 eligible men get out of that limo in the first show and she falls head-over-heels for the kind of creepy guy a mother hopes her daughter never crosses paths with? If I were talking right now I would be stuttering because I just can't get the words out fast enough or loud enough to express my complete and utter dismay over Ashley's lack of sense. Here's an educated good-looking woman who's about done with dental school, has a to-die-for body, adorable personality (when she's not being annoying of course) and is so f'd up about her looks that she somehow immediately zeroes in on the biggest loser ever to come to reality tv because, according to Ashley, "he's hot."
Bentley had an X on his forehead from the moment he stepped out of the limo because she had been warned that he wasn't on the show for the right reasons. Yet, not only did she choose to allow him on the show she put him through TWO rose ceremonies and said he is the front runner for her affections. I say he is the front runner for her panties. God, women like her give women like us a bad name. Out of 25 guys her hoohoo managed to "nail" the worst in the bunch. She doesn't have a shred of common sense! He is not "hot" he is reprehensible and I would so like to meet the family he grew up in to find out how these people not just pro-created this cretin but raised him to be the lowest of low human beings.
Also, I have a big question mark over Ashley's parents heads right now too. How did she grow up thinking that everything she had going for her wasn't enough, that if only she was conventionally pretty she would be loveable? But no. She chases the wrong men constantly because she doesn't believe in or respect herself based on nothing but looks. Ashley use the brain God gave you and your heart! If you connect with a man in these two areas your hoohoo will follow! She really is behaving no better than a man right now, all eyes no brains. I'm just disgusted.-Hot Mama
OMG Hot Mama,
No other Bachelorette has ever bothered me more than Ashley. I just can't even deal with her at all and I really couldn't agree with you more. Her insecurities are so completely glaring. I thought that we saw them on her season with Brad, and now they are even more clear. It's like REALLY?!?! A friend of yours texts you and tells you that Bentley is there with bad intentions and doesn't actually want to pursue you, and somehow you still decide to keep him around?! And not just through one rose ceremony, but multiple rose ceremonies. Is it just because he is good looking and this is the first "hot" guy who has ever been interested in her? It's really interesting that you say that she doesn't think that she is good enough.
It seems like she is so uncomfortable in her own skin and so wrapped up in her looks. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for poor Ashley going forward when she has to watch these episodes. Seeing all of the terrible things that Bentley has said about her, and wishing that it was Emily or Chantal instead of her... It's certainly not going to bolster her self-esteem. But really she needed Hot Mama around to teach her about being self-confident and picking a man who is there for the right reasons! I don't know how I am going to make it through the rest of the season watching her doubt herself at every single turn!-Eager Beaver
Saturday, May 28, 2011
"The Real Housewives..." Is this Reality?!
Hot Mama,
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I am not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and promted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they are double dating and bashing someone elses husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same shit, different day. It's in no way / shape / form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??
-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? WTF? Good gawd what sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to have sex with them? So, what in the hell are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.
-Hot Mama
I know I can say this to you without fear of judgement or a serious eyeroll, but I do spend a seious amount of time glued to my television watching, "The Real Housewives of Orange County." And I have to say that recently I've discovered I am not the only one. It seems as if the "Real Housewives" craze has gotten to almost everyone I know! They have "real" housewives from everywhere these days: New York, New Jersey, Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills, etc. Even just the slightest mention of Housewives gets women talking. But why?! Why are we so obsessed with watching these women whose supposed real lives are a far cry from anyone that I know.
They consider 'working' as having a clothing line or designing handbags or make-up. And are continually throwing huge lavish parties and vacations where they invite their 'friends,' who are actually more like frenemies in most cases. They spend 95% of the time bashing the women that they claim to be BFF's with behind their backs. They all have something negative to say about each other, or each others relationships, or jobs (or lack there of). And I wonder if I was poked and proded and promted enough by Producers, if I would be able to say such negative and hurtful things about someone else, someone who is supposedly my friend, behind her back. I don't think that I could, and why would I chose to continue to spend time with someone if I didn't have anything good to say about them? And on top of that, trying to keep track of who is friends at any given point in time can be overwhelming and exhausting. One minute they hate each other, and the next minute, they are double dating and bashing someone elses husband. 
These women have insane amounts of disposable income, and spend a vast majority of their time devoted to their looks and upkeep. They don't talk about anything useful or productive, and most of the time they are downright mean. So why do I like it? And not just me, but women across America... Why do we ALL like it? How have they made SIX seasons of the same show? Nothing has changed, it's just the same shit, different day. It's in no way / shape / form a reflection of the real life of a woman. Having a nanny, and a cook, and a party planner, and a personal assistant... Yeah, I don't have ANY of those things. But somehow, I keep on watching. And not gonna lie, I love it! What gives... why do we spend countless hours watching this nonsense??-Eager "Real Housewive of the REAL World" Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I admit that I too watch those shows occasionally and I HATE them! They just totally contribute to the idea that women are nothing more than grownup "mean girls!" Wow, I always say most men don't ever "grow up" they just "grow old" but these shows say exactly the same thing about women! It's mortifying. Who ARE these women? How did they all get such a sense of entitlement? I mean, seriously, their poop stinks just like anyone else's, worse probably. And an even bigger question for me is who are these MEN that marry them? WTF? Good gawd what sane man finds these highly kept women attractive in any way? They do NOTHING! They don't even raise their own kids! And they're so botoxed and blown out who would want to have sex with them? So, what in the hell are they good for? Running around backstabbing their "friends" and spending the man's money?
I think people watch because it's like watching the "Stepford Wives" in a car crash. I guess it's this generation's "reality" version of "Dallas." I end up having to turn it off because I can't handle their mean-spirited vapidness. It turns my stomach. I do wonder when they watch themselves back if they have even the slightest shred of decency to be a little embarrassed by their behavior? Or were they all raised by wolves? I'm guessing it's the latter.-Hot Mama
Monday, May 9, 2011
Maria Shoulda Terminated this Relationship from the Beginning...
Eager Beaver,
What is wrong with women? How can they listen to advice from people, ignore it and their own internal warning system to end up with guys like Arnold Schwarznegger? Geez, everybody on the PLANET knew that Arnold was a horndog when they started dating. His reputation reaches all the way back to his first days in Hollywood and most likely back to his teenage years.
I personally know TWO women who have been sexually harassed by Arnold. In one situation he grabbed the woman's ass and in another the woman's breasts, completely uninvited not to mention unwanted!!! I'm one person. His reputation in the film industry is hugely filthy. Why did Maria Shriver ignore what was surely everyone's (Oprah, Mary Hart) advice to stay away from this man? She claims that just because her family's men have a sordid sexual history doesn't mean that she just "accepts" that behavior in men. And so you were thinking what exactly when you started dating one of the worst offenders in Hollywood? It just completely boggles my mind. I don't think anyone out here in the real world is shocked by Arnold's love child with the maid but we're more shocked by the fact that Maria seems shocked. Really? Really?
-Hot Mama
Okay Hot Mama,
Can I just say first off that I cannot believe that you know TWO people who he has sexually harassed. On top of that I am SO glad that you share my opinions about him. I literally thought that it was just me. I find him so completely unattractive, like damn near the point of repulsive. And it's like seriously?! A gorgeous, amazing, fabulous, brilliant woman like Maria was bamboozled by Arnold. And on top of ALL of that she managed to stay with him for years and years and years. And stand by him during everything.
I'm certainly not shocked by the love child scandal, and honestly I hardly flinched when I heard the story break. Apparently Maria had known about it for quite a few months before, like even before the holidays! And on top of the that, being the gracious woman that she is, she waited to make the announcement. AND she supposedly let the maid stay with them until after the holidays, because she didn't want to make it rough on her family. Arnold never deserved a woman like Maria, and hopefully she can get out of there fast, and start a new life over with her children. And now that he's no longer in office, I hope to NEVER hear about that scoundrel again!
-REPULSED EagerBeaver
What is wrong with women? How can they listen to advice from people, ignore it and their own internal warning system to end up with guys like Arnold Schwarznegger? Geez, everybody on the PLANET knew that Arnold was a horndog when they started dating. His reputation reaches all the way back to his first days in Hollywood and most likely back to his teenage years.
I personally know TWO women who have been sexually harassed by Arnold. In one situation he grabbed the woman's ass and in another the woman's breasts, completely uninvited not to mention unwanted!!! I'm one person. His reputation in the film industry is hugely filthy. Why did Maria Shriver ignore what was surely everyone's (Oprah, Mary Hart) advice to stay away from this man? She claims that just because her family's men have a sordid sexual history doesn't mean that she just "accepts" that behavior in men. And so you were thinking what exactly when you started dating one of the worst offenders in Hollywood? It just completely boggles my mind. I don't think anyone out here in the real world is shocked by Arnold's love child with the maid but we're more shocked by the fact that Maria seems shocked. Really? Really?-Hot Mama
Okay Hot Mama,
Can I just say first off that I cannot believe that you know TWO people who he has sexually harassed. On top of that I am SO glad that you share my opinions about him. I literally thought that it was just me. I find him so completely unattractive, like damn near the point of repulsive. And it's like seriously?! A gorgeous, amazing, fabulous, brilliant woman like Maria was bamboozled by Arnold. And on top of ALL of that she managed to stay with him for years and years and years. And stand by him during everything.
I'm certainly not shocked by the love child scandal, and honestly I hardly flinched when I heard the story break. Apparently Maria had known about it for quite a few months before, like even before the holidays! And on top of the that, being the gracious woman that she is, she waited to make the announcement. AND she supposedly let the maid stay with them until after the holidays, because she didn't want to make it rough on her family. Arnold never deserved a woman like Maria, and hopefully she can get out of there fast, and start a new life over with her children. And now that he's no longer in office, I hope to NEVER hear about that scoundrel again!-REPULSED EagerBeaver
Sunday, March 20, 2011
"The Bachelor" Sold Us a Bill of Goods!
Eager Beaver,
I was not going to watch "The Bachelor" this season since they were recycling a past bachelor - so freakin' lame! But being a hopeful romantic I got sucked in by the drama and the triangle of Emily, Chantal and Ashley. Brad Womack and the producers sold us a bill of goods though. Brad claiming he's changed and even Chris Harrison saying he's been through therapy he's a changed man. I call bull---- on that!
He's not a changed man as we all discovered on "After the Final Rose" when Emily said she couldn't commit to Brad right now and then reluctantly revealed it was because of Brad's temper! What the hell? How did Brad even get another chance? I'm going to guess that if the love of Brad's life is feeling his temper (and shouldn't this be the honeymoon phase of the relationship when we only show each other our best sides?)
Then again it hasn't exactly been a character flaw that's been hidden from the producers, film crew, production assistants, etc. when he was the bachelor the first time. I'm so mad. Mostly at myself for being sucked in again but also at the producers for not doing the work and finding us a new bachelor to watch! So, not only has Brad not changed, notice he chased the most seemingly unavailable girl on the show! Much more exciting for a man like Brad, not that Emily isn't beautiful or sweet but she definitely was making Brad work for her attention.
On the other hand, maybe she just wasn't genuinely interested because she never seemed to be bothered by the other girl's dates and was kinda surprised that Brad fell so hard for her. Whatever the reason, I'm proud of Emily for sticking to her guns and not rushing into marriage with a hot head!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
I couldn't believe when they brought Brad back either... really, he wasn't that great the first time around. And we are all supposed to believe that he has "changed." Is he now a more evolved man, suddenly ready to forge a new relationship. You are so right to call BULLSHIT on that, and we've seen it since the first episode. Really, he is reformed from therapy?? Not buying it, not even a little bit. On top of that, how did he even get two great girls in the end like Emily and Chantal (I wasn't Ashley's biggest fan...)
I found it interesting that he has such a bad temper, but I totally get his aggressive vibe. Even in the episode with his brothers, they asked her if she'd seen the "bear" yet, so clearly they know that he has a pretty intense temper as well. I would bet my bottom dollar that these two will never take a walk down the aisle, at least not as a couple! I can guarantee that she won't be able to take Brad's temper, especially not with her daughter. She's already been through a lot, and I can't believe that she would put her daughter through something else if she wasn't 100% in it. Move on Emily, Brad's not worth the wait. Ah "The Bachelor," wonder what's to come next season...
-EagerBeaver
I was not going to watch "The Bachelor" this season since they were recycling a past bachelor - so freakin' lame! But being a hopeful romantic I got sucked in by the drama and the triangle of Emily, Chantal and Ashley. Brad Womack and the producers sold us a bill of goods though. Brad claiming he's changed and even Chris Harrison saying he's been through therapy he's a changed man. I call bull---- on that!
He's not a changed man as we all discovered on "After the Final Rose" when Emily said she couldn't commit to Brad right now and then reluctantly revealed it was because of Brad's temper! What the hell? How did Brad even get another chance? I'm going to guess that if the love of Brad's life is feeling his temper (and shouldn't this be the honeymoon phase of the relationship when we only show each other our best sides?)
Then again it hasn't exactly been a character flaw that's been hidden from the producers, film crew, production assistants, etc. when he was the bachelor the first time. I'm so mad. Mostly at myself for being sucked in again but also at the producers for not doing the work and finding us a new bachelor to watch! So, not only has Brad not changed, notice he chased the most seemingly unavailable girl on the show! Much more exciting for a man like Brad, not that Emily isn't beautiful or sweet but she definitely was making Brad work for her attention.
On the other hand, maybe she just wasn't genuinely interested because she never seemed to be bothered by the other girl's dates and was kinda surprised that Brad fell so hard for her. Whatever the reason, I'm proud of Emily for sticking to her guns and not rushing into marriage with a hot head!-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
I couldn't believe when they brought Brad back either... really, he wasn't that great the first time around. And we are all supposed to believe that he has "changed." Is he now a more evolved man, suddenly ready to forge a new relationship. You are so right to call BULLSHIT on that, and we've seen it since the first episode. Really, he is reformed from therapy?? Not buying it, not even a little bit. On top of that, how did he even get two great girls in the end like Emily and Chantal (I wasn't Ashley's biggest fan...)
I found it interesting that he has such a bad temper, but I totally get his aggressive vibe. Even in the episode with his brothers, they asked her if she'd seen the "bear" yet, so clearly they know that he has a pretty intense temper as well. I would bet my bottom dollar that these two will never take a walk down the aisle, at least not as a couple! I can guarantee that she won't be able to take Brad's temper, especially not with her daughter. She's already been through a lot, and I can't believe that she would put her daughter through something else if she wasn't 100% in it. Move on Emily, Brad's not worth the wait. Ah "The Bachelor," wonder what's to come next season...-EagerBeaver
Friday, February 25, 2011
Men and Penis Insecurity
Eager Beaver,
Geesh men are insecure about their penises. And it seems the bigger theirs are the more they want to talk about it. I have a friend who just had sex with a man with a very large penis and all he kept wanting her to talk about was how incredible his penis was. Kept asking her if she thought it was "fantastic," "huge." and "more than she could handle," etc. The sad part is that he WASN'T a good lover so she just had to keep "agreeing" with him even though she wanted to shout at him that the sex sucked!!! He even texted her the next day and asked if the sex was better than she ever imagined due to his large dick. Really. Not making this up. Men with large penises seem to think that's all they need to be a great lover. That a big dick is the answer to our orgasm prayers. Consequently, they're usually horrible lovers because they just pump away and in 12 seconds it's over. But they want you to tell them how fantastic their big dick felt in your puss. Men are stupefyingly self-centered when it comes to sex. It's like they don't understand it AT ALL! Has not one of them read that it takes the average woman 20 minutes to reach orgasm, not 20 seconds, and that most of us NEVER reach orgasm during intercourse? WTF? I'm so annoyed I don't even know what to say...what has been your experience when it comes to men and their penis size thus far?
-Less Than Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama,
This literally made me laugh out loud, because there are so many things that are true in your rant. First of all, it's like we've discussed time and time again, it's just like HOT guys. When guys are hot they don't really try in terms of "courting" or "dating" girls, because they have their looks to fall back on. It's just like guys with really big dicks. They think that because they have the size going for them, that they don't have to work it. And we all know that DEFINITELY isn't the case. I haven't ever really encountered a man who wanted to talk about it so much. That would turn me off for sure, and kind of give me the creeps... Why do you we even have to talk about it at all? And if we are talking about it for some unknown reason, then I should be the one to bring it up and not him. As long as it is big enough, he doesn't have to be the longest or beefy-est hotdog at the fair. It's all about how they work it. You need to tell your friend to ditch the creep ASAP. She deserves way better than a guy who wants applause for his man parts!
-EagerBeaver
Geesh men are insecure about their penises. And it seems the bigger theirs are the more they want to talk about it. I have a friend who just had sex with a man with a very large penis and all he kept wanting her to talk about was how incredible his penis was. Kept asking her if she thought it was "fantastic," "huge." and "more than she could handle," etc. The sad part is that he WASN'T a good lover so she just had to keep "agreeing" with him even though she wanted to shout at him that the sex sucked!!! He even texted her the next day and asked if the sex was better than she ever imagined due to his large dick. Really. Not making this up. Men with large penises seem to think that's all they need to be a great lover. That a big dick is the answer to our orgasm prayers. Consequently, they're usually horrible lovers because they just pump away and in 12 seconds it's over. But they want you to tell them how fantastic their big dick felt in your puss. Men are stupefyingly self-centered when it comes to sex. It's like they don't understand it AT ALL! Has not one of them read that it takes the average woman 20 minutes to reach orgasm, not 20 seconds, and that most of us NEVER reach orgasm during intercourse? WTF? I'm so annoyed I don't even know what to say...what has been your experience when it comes to men and their penis size thus far?
-Less Than Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama,
This literally made me laugh out loud, because there are so many things that are true in your rant. First of all, it's like we've discussed time and time again, it's just like HOT guys. When guys are hot they don't really try in terms of "courting" or "dating" girls, because they have their looks to fall back on. It's just like guys with really big dicks. They think that because they have the size going for them, that they don't have to work it. And we all know that DEFINITELY isn't the case. I haven't ever really encountered a man who wanted to talk about it so much. That would turn me off for sure, and kind of give me the creeps... Why do you we even have to talk about it at all? And if we are talking about it for some unknown reason, then I should be the one to bring it up and not him. As long as it is big enough, he doesn't have to be the longest or beefy-est hotdog at the fair. It's all about how they work it. You need to tell your friend to ditch the creep ASAP. She deserves way better than a guy who wants applause for his man parts!
-EagerBeaver
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
"The Social Network;" Power of the Pussy
Eager Beaver,
Your pussy is powerful. And I mean WAY powerful. Pussy's have brought down churches, businesses, kingdoms and governments for centuries. It's truly shocking when you think about it. Just in the last five years alone we can all quickly think of presidents, politicians, ministers, businessmen, movie stars, musicians, etc who have forsaken their lives and, in most cases, wives, for a pussy. A man's desire for a certain pussy has crumbled careers that men spent decades building. I just watched, "The Social Network," last night and my take away from it was, again, that the pussy is amazingly powerful. Mark Zuckerberg supposedly created Facemash, the website that he initially started one drunken night at Harvard to compare all the girls on campus to farm animals, because he was hurt that a girlfriend had broken up with him. While creating this website to humiliate all girls he drunkenly blogged about how the now ex-girlfriend had hurt him, how her boobs didn't measure up etc. Immediately after Facemash crashed Harvard's server, Mark is approached by a group of three guys to start a social website called Harvard Connect because "all girls want to date guys from Harvard."
Of course, the rest is history, he cribbed the idea and created Facebook which in seven short years is worth 50 BILLION dollars! All because of pussy! There's some question as to whether or not there ever was an Erica, the girlfriend, but something happened that caused Mark to create Facemash in the first place and it sounds to me like an insecure man being spurned is probably a a good guess. We women get down on ourselves but really men are motivated by one thing in this life and that is: getting into a woman's pussy. We need to all remember that, not give it away like free candy on Halloween and wait for the guy that values our pussy at about...50 billion dollars!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
It is SO weird how the world works. I JUST watched this movie this evening with my Mom. We were both completely engrossed in the movie and absolutely loved it. It made me wonder if Mark is such a complete freaking asshole in person, like he is in the movie. My Mom watched an interview with him on Oprah, and I know that there has been a lot of controversy over it, because Mark says that the movie doesn't accurately portray him. He started the Facebook over a girl, he lost his best friend in the entire world, and he didn't even really care about the money! It's just so mind boggling. I wish that he would write a book so I could see into his mind and understand just exactly how it works. And after all of that, I wonder if he is happy now. Now all I have to do... invent the NEXT Facebook...
-EagerBeaver
Your pussy is powerful. And I mean WAY powerful. Pussy's have brought down churches, businesses, kingdoms and governments for centuries. It's truly shocking when you think about it. Just in the last five years alone we can all quickly think of presidents, politicians, ministers, businessmen, movie stars, musicians, etc who have forsaken their lives and, in most cases, wives, for a pussy. A man's desire for a certain pussy has crumbled careers that men spent decades building. I just watched, "The Social Network," last night and my take away from it was, again, that the pussy is amazingly powerful. Mark Zuckerberg supposedly created Facemash, the website that he initially started one drunken night at Harvard to compare all the girls on campus to farm animals, because he was hurt that a girlfriend had broken up with him. While creating this website to humiliate all girls he drunkenly blogged about how the now ex-girlfriend had hurt him, how her boobs didn't measure up etc. Immediately after Facemash crashed Harvard's server, Mark is approached by a group of three guys to start a social website called Harvard Connect because "all girls want to date guys from Harvard."
Of course, the rest is history, he cribbed the idea and created Facebook which in seven short years is worth 50 BILLION dollars! All because of pussy! There's some question as to whether or not there ever was an Erica, the girlfriend, but something happened that caused Mark to create Facemash in the first place and it sounds to me like an insecure man being spurned is probably a a good guess. We women get down on ourselves but really men are motivated by one thing in this life and that is: getting into a woman's pussy. We need to all remember that, not give it away like free candy on Halloween and wait for the guy that values our pussy at about...50 billion dollars!
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
It is SO weird how the world works. I JUST watched this movie this evening with my Mom. We were both completely engrossed in the movie and absolutely loved it. It made me wonder if Mark is such a complete freaking asshole in person, like he is in the movie. My Mom watched an interview with him on Oprah, and I know that there has been a lot of controversy over it, because Mark says that the movie doesn't accurately portray him. He started the Facebook over a girl, he lost his best friend in the entire world, and he didn't even really care about the money! It's just so mind boggling. I wish that he would write a book so I could see into his mind and understand just exactly how it works. And after all of that, I wonder if he is happy now. Now all I have to do... invent the NEXT Facebook...
-EagerBeaver
Monday, February 7, 2011
Does Penis Size REALLY Matter?
Eager Beaver,
All my life women have tried to reassure men that size doesn't matter. That it's the "motion of the ocean" that rocks our world. And to some extent this is true. BUT the more true thing is that size DOES matter and, more specifically, girth is what matters because it provides us girls with more friction for our button. Long and skinny doesn't cut it. Long and large is just downright painful. There's just this sort of "right" size for most women that works. Longish and girthy but not too girthy because that can lead to "rug burn." Penis size, while important for achieving possible orgasm during intercourse, is actually not the most important thing. The most important element in love making is a man's skill because most women, much as we would LOVE to, do not come through sexual intercourse alone. Our buttons are a little too far away from the action and a little too small to be hit in the right spot for maximum friction during intercourse. So, having a man who is skilled in the way a woman's body works is AMAZING. And I mean really skilled as in "I didn't even know my body could do that!" skilled.
I had the good fortune to have sex with someone whom I'd been friends with for four years but never imagined hooking up with (for a variety of reasons). We discussed whether or not we should take the friendship to the next level because we worried that we would ruin what we had. After some sexting, it just became too much and we went there. In my mind, it would be an OTO thing because, frankly, I thought it would suck and that would be the end of that. Boy was I wrong. Holy Cow. My friend turned out to be the most amazing, skilled lover I ever had in my entire life and I learned some things about my body I never knew before. Like what? Well, that whole debate on whether or not women can gush fluid while orgasming? I found out for the first time in my life this is absolutely true! Unbelievable. It actually makes me sad though because I went through my adult life not knowing I was capable of this. I have been sexually conservative, in terms of partners not emotions, most of my life. Didn't have sex until I was 22, met my husband-to-be at 25, got married at 28, divorced at 41 and have kept men out of my children's lives for all the obvious reasons. So, to experience this now blows my mind, and other body parts, in so many ways. And in terms of the friendship with the guy; I think we may have screwed the pooch. Which sucks. Sex on top of friendship just doesn't work. I am grateful to him for showing me how amazing my body is BUT also fearful that I won't find someone that skilled EVER again. Based on your own short experience Eager Beaver, what do you think about the possibilities for me? Should I just move into the home now?
-Sad But Exhilarated Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama,
I don't even know WHERE to begin on this one. I think that you are absolutely right, penis size does play a part in the quality of sex, but it is definitely not everything. People are so obsessed with men who have a big dick, but really, what's the use if they don't know what to do with it?? It's like guys who are extremely hot and feel like they don't have to do or give anything in a relationship... so NOT cool. I've been lucky enough to have the same AMAZING, mind-blowing, didn't know it was possible, kind of sex like you've had. And just like you, it didn't end well. And once it's gone, you wonder if you will ever get that again. From my experience so far, I haven't been fortunate enough to find it again. Here's to hoping for both of us, that someone is going to come along and restore our faith!
-Eager Beaver
All my life women have tried to reassure men that size doesn't matter. That it's the "motion of the ocean" that rocks our world. And to some extent this is true. BUT the more true thing is that size DOES matter and, more specifically, girth is what matters because it provides us girls with more friction for our button. Long and skinny doesn't cut it. Long and large is just downright painful. There's just this sort of "right" size for most women that works. Longish and girthy but not too girthy because that can lead to "rug burn." Penis size, while important for achieving possible orgasm during intercourse, is actually not the most important thing. The most important element in love making is a man's skill because most women, much as we would LOVE to, do not come through sexual intercourse alone. Our buttons are a little too far away from the action and a little too small to be hit in the right spot for maximum friction during intercourse. So, having a man who is skilled in the way a woman's body works is AMAZING. And I mean really skilled as in "I didn't even know my body could do that!" skilled.
I had the good fortune to have sex with someone whom I'd been friends with for four years but never imagined hooking up with (for a variety of reasons). We discussed whether or not we should take the friendship to the next level because we worried that we would ruin what we had. After some sexting, it just became too much and we went there. In my mind, it would be an OTO thing because, frankly, I thought it would suck and that would be the end of that. Boy was I wrong. Holy Cow. My friend turned out to be the most amazing, skilled lover I ever had in my entire life and I learned some things about my body I never knew before. Like what? Well, that whole debate on whether or not women can gush fluid while orgasming? I found out for the first time in my life this is absolutely true! Unbelievable. It actually makes me sad though because I went through my adult life not knowing I was capable of this. I have been sexually conservative, in terms of partners not emotions, most of my life. Didn't have sex until I was 22, met my husband-to-be at 25, got married at 28, divorced at 41 and have kept men out of my children's lives for all the obvious reasons. So, to experience this now blows my mind, and other body parts, in so many ways. And in terms of the friendship with the guy; I think we may have screwed the pooch. Which sucks. Sex on top of friendship just doesn't work. I am grateful to him for showing me how amazing my body is BUT also fearful that I won't find someone that skilled EVER again. Based on your own short experience Eager Beaver, what do you think about the possibilities for me? Should I just move into the home now?
-Sad But Exhilarated Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama,
I don't even know WHERE to begin on this one. I think that you are absolutely right, penis size does play a part in the quality of sex, but it is definitely not everything. People are so obsessed with men who have a big dick, but really, what's the use if they don't know what to do with it?? It's like guys who are extremely hot and feel like they don't have to do or give anything in a relationship... so NOT cool. I've been lucky enough to have the same AMAZING, mind-blowing, didn't know it was possible, kind of sex like you've had. And just like you, it didn't end well. And once it's gone, you wonder if you will ever get that again. From my experience so far, I haven't been fortunate enough to find it again. Here's to hoping for both of us, that someone is going to come along and restore our faith!
-Eager Beaver
Friday, February 4, 2011
Mancations: Good or Bad for Your Relationship?
Eager Beaver,
I just came back from a week in Vail with the girls, and while all of us were single, all the guys we encountered were married! There were lots of groups of 5-7 married guys on mancations.
Every single one that I observed was looking to get laid. And that's not just my opinion, it's my girlfriends' opinion as well. I went two years ago and it was the same story. And the occasional single guy was just a dog you wouldn't want anyway. Even the most benign looking man seemed to be influenced by the pack mentality. It freaked all of us out. What do their wives think they're doing in Vail? Skiing? Well, yes probably but also probably with women they'd met in the bar the night before. We met one group of guys who had every intention of going skiing when they arrived in town four days ago but never did because they were way too hung over the next day, every day, to make it out of the condo! In another group, we witnessed the men's wedding rings disappearing as the week wore on! Meaning, when we met them, they had them on but by the end of the week they had taken them off. 
One of them claimed it was because the ring might hurt his finger should he take a bad fall. OMG. Seriously?! Another group decided to plan a mancation houseboating without their wives and tell them they were going fishing. All the while recalling the last time they had done that, 10-15 years ago, they had naked chicks running around the houseboat the whole weekend. Ladies, as much as we know our guys need some guy time, anytime they're going with a group of buddies to somewhere other than an actual forest with tents and guns on their backs, it's a sign they're looking for trouble. As in, trouble for you because they are looking to get laid. You can deny, deny, deny all you want that YOUR husband never would and maybe he wouldn't intentionally but once they are in a town with hotels and other women trouble will come a-knockin'. I don't care if they say they're going golfing, fishing, biking, hiking, wind-surfing, skiing, water skiing, etc. if where they're going there are going to be women and bars (from the biggest to the tiniest town) there is going to be trouble. Not every man will get laid for sure and maybe none of them will on any given trip but what freaked us out was that ALL of them wanted to and it's just a matter of time (years), and the odds, that eventually all of them will.
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This makes me so freaking DEPRESSED. I thought that this was something that I could expect from guys who are my age, not men in their 30s, 40s, and upwards from there. I thought that the whole "mancation" thinking was just for guys my age who were going to Cabo on springbreak and messing around before coming back to their girlfriends. Thinking that men who are married and in committed relationships are still looking to do the same thing is completely sickening. It makes me wonder if I ever even WANT to get married. On the same token... maybe men are getting away with this because their wives are turning a blind eye. A lot of my friends have taken back boyfriends who have strayed (on vacations or just in the same town!) Maybe if we stopped tolerating this behavior, it wouldn't be so commonplace. I want to be with someone who I can trust to take a trip with his buddies and still know that he is being faithful to me. And I would expect the same thing from my partner... that I could go on a trip with the girls and he wouldn't be worried about me meeting and hooking up with someone else the whole time. It just makes me wonder, if we can't trust our boyfriends or our husbands, then WHO can we trust?!?
-Distraught Eager Beaver
I just came back from a week in Vail with the girls, and while all of us were single, all the guys we encountered were married! There were lots of groups of 5-7 married guys on mancations.
Every single one that I observed was looking to get laid. And that's not just my opinion, it's my girlfriends' opinion as well. I went two years ago and it was the same story. And the occasional single guy was just a dog you wouldn't want anyway. Even the most benign looking man seemed to be influenced by the pack mentality. It freaked all of us out. What do their wives think they're doing in Vail? Skiing? Well, yes probably but also probably with women they'd met in the bar the night before. We met one group of guys who had every intention of going skiing when they arrived in town four days ago but never did because they were way too hung over the next day, every day, to make it out of the condo! In another group, we witnessed the men's wedding rings disappearing as the week wore on! Meaning, when we met them, they had them on but by the end of the week they had taken them off. 
One of them claimed it was because the ring might hurt his finger should he take a bad fall. OMG. Seriously?! Another group decided to plan a mancation houseboating without their wives and tell them they were going fishing. All the while recalling the last time they had done that, 10-15 years ago, they had naked chicks running around the houseboat the whole weekend. Ladies, as much as we know our guys need some guy time, anytime they're going with a group of buddies to somewhere other than an actual forest with tents and guns on their backs, it's a sign they're looking for trouble. As in, trouble for you because they are looking to get laid. You can deny, deny, deny all you want that YOUR husband never would and maybe he wouldn't intentionally but once they are in a town with hotels and other women trouble will come a-knockin'. I don't care if they say they're going golfing, fishing, biking, hiking, wind-surfing, skiing, water skiing, etc. if where they're going there are going to be women and bars (from the biggest to the tiniest town) there is going to be trouble. Not every man will get laid for sure and maybe none of them will on any given trip but what freaked us out was that ALL of them wanted to and it's just a matter of time (years), and the odds, that eventually all of them will.-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This makes me so freaking DEPRESSED. I thought that this was something that I could expect from guys who are my age, not men in their 30s, 40s, and upwards from there. I thought that the whole "mancation" thinking was just for guys my age who were going to Cabo on springbreak and messing around before coming back to their girlfriends. Thinking that men who are married and in committed relationships are still looking to do the same thing is completely sickening. It makes me wonder if I ever even WANT to get married. On the same token... maybe men are getting away with this because their wives are turning a blind eye. A lot of my friends have taken back boyfriends who have strayed (on vacations or just in the same town!) Maybe if we stopped tolerating this behavior, it wouldn't be so commonplace. I want to be with someone who I can trust to take a trip with his buddies and still know that he is being faithful to me. And I would expect the same thing from my partner... that I could go on a trip with the girls and he wouldn't be worried about me meeting and hooking up with someone else the whole time. It just makes me wonder, if we can't trust our boyfriends or our husbands, then WHO can we trust?!?
-Distraught Eager Beaver
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Up In The Air...
Hot Mama,
I am sitting in the airport after a long and grueling week of travelling, and I am BEYOND excited to finally be heading home and the idea of having a good nights sleep in my own bed. Not to mention not having to live out of a suitcase... I'm sitting in a bar "working" and looking around at all of my fellow travelers. The bar is FULL, like 100% (excluding me) of SWM. Not that I am surprised that the majority of people traveling are Single White Males, but still, it makes me wonder, who is on the other end of these men? I imagine that the majority of them are married, although I can't see if everyone is wearing a ring. And I wonder how their wives feel about managing everything on the homefront.
Not that women don't most of the time (even when men are present), I am just thinking it must be 100x harder with the husband not physically there. I think about my roommate and how sad she is that I am gone all of the time, and I wonder how it would be if I had a husband. Currently, I have a great job and make good money and do a lot of traveling, so would that make me the breadwinner? Would I have a house-husband? Would my husband be alone watching the kids? Would we take turns? It's interesting because one of my co-workers travels almost as much as I do. She has a full-time nanny during the day for her two year old daughter, but when she is gone for overnights, her husband is totally Mr. Mom. She will be gone for three, four, five days at a time, and he covers it on the home-front. I think it is such a great new-age way of thinking. They both have great jobs and at the same time, they both totally have each other's backs and are in a true partnership. If I ever get married ad have a family, I want you to be Auntie Hot Mama, and stay and take care of my kids when I am gone for work, k?
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Ha ha! Me stay home and take care of kids at this stage of life, good one. No, I am just about done raising my two beautiful children and looking forward to the freedom that it is going to afford me very soon. I am worn out. I have given everything I have as a single Mom to raising them to be wonderful people and soon it will be your turn to try your hand at this challenging and most rewarding life task! And of course your own mom and Auntie Hot Mama will be there to give you an assist from time to time but I know you'll do a great job! And I hope you're lucky enough to find a husband who seems to be as great as your coworkers. Negotiating the "who stays home while the other works/travels?" is probably the trickiest minefield of any marriage. It is fraught with compromise for both people AND the kids! It is still a new-age way of thinking because men's ego still prefer that they are the major breadwinner in the family, not necessarily sole, but definitely main. So, if you think you will be the majority breadwinner you're gonna need some kind of secure guy to take a financial backseat to you. And if you feel comfortable traveling and leaving him home to attend the play dates/groups without you, then go for it.
I think unfortunately any marriage where one or both parties travel leaves your marriage door that much more ajar for someone else to come in. Between staying in hotels, attending conferences and after-conference dinners or parties, the traveling man/woman has many many more opportunities to stray. And initially a newly married man/woman probably(?) wouldn't stray but put on a few years, a few kids and a few pounds and that new hire at the office that has to travel too suddenly looks overwhelmingly attractive. They have the lightness of not being bogged down with work, a home, children, aging parents and an unhappy spouse. Or they're in the same boat. How wonderful it is to have someone who understands all of your problems over drinks in the hotel bar and intoxicating to feel listened to. It's a cocktail designed to put the strength of even the best marriage...up in the air.
-Hot Mama
I am sitting in the airport after a long and grueling week of travelling, and I am BEYOND excited to finally be heading home and the idea of having a good nights sleep in my own bed. Not to mention not having to live out of a suitcase... I'm sitting in a bar "working" and looking around at all of my fellow travelers. The bar is FULL, like 100% (excluding me) of SWM. Not that I am surprised that the majority of people traveling are Single White Males, but still, it makes me wonder, who is on the other end of these men? I imagine that the majority of them are married, although I can't see if everyone is wearing a ring. And I wonder how their wives feel about managing everything on the homefront.
Not that women don't most of the time (even when men are present), I am just thinking it must be 100x harder with the husband not physically there. I think about my roommate and how sad she is that I am gone all of the time, and I wonder how it would be if I had a husband. Currently, I have a great job and make good money and do a lot of traveling, so would that make me the breadwinner? Would I have a house-husband? Would my husband be alone watching the kids? Would we take turns? It's interesting because one of my co-workers travels almost as much as I do. She has a full-time nanny during the day for her two year old daughter, but when she is gone for overnights, her husband is totally Mr. Mom. She will be gone for three, four, five days at a time, and he covers it on the home-front. I think it is such a great new-age way of thinking. They both have great jobs and at the same time, they both totally have each other's backs and are in a true partnership. If I ever get married ad have a family, I want you to be Auntie Hot Mama, and stay and take care of my kids when I am gone for work, k?-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Ha ha! Me stay home and take care of kids at this stage of life, good one. No, I am just about done raising my two beautiful children and looking forward to the freedom that it is going to afford me very soon. I am worn out. I have given everything I have as a single Mom to raising them to be wonderful people and soon it will be your turn to try your hand at this challenging and most rewarding life task! And of course your own mom and Auntie Hot Mama will be there to give you an assist from time to time but I know you'll do a great job! And I hope you're lucky enough to find a husband who seems to be as great as your coworkers. Negotiating the "who stays home while the other works/travels?" is probably the trickiest minefield of any marriage. It is fraught with compromise for both people AND the kids! It is still a new-age way of thinking because men's ego still prefer that they are the major breadwinner in the family, not necessarily sole, but definitely main. So, if you think you will be the majority breadwinner you're gonna need some kind of secure guy to take a financial backseat to you. And if you feel comfortable traveling and leaving him home to attend the play dates/groups without you, then go for it.
I think unfortunately any marriage where one or both parties travel leaves your marriage door that much more ajar for someone else to come in. Between staying in hotels, attending conferences and after-conference dinners or parties, the traveling man/woman has many many more opportunities to stray. And initially a newly married man/woman probably(?) wouldn't stray but put on a few years, a few kids and a few pounds and that new hire at the office that has to travel too suddenly looks overwhelmingly attractive. They have the lightness of not being bogged down with work, a home, children, aging parents and an unhappy spouse. Or they're in the same boat. How wonderful it is to have someone who understands all of your problems over drinks in the hotel bar and intoxicating to feel listened to. It's a cocktail designed to put the strength of even the best marriage...up in the air.
-Hot Mama
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Catch and Release
Eager Beaver,
I have a friend who dated a man for a month that she met online. And for that month he chased her with everything he had. In this friend's case that meant talking about his spiritual growth, listening to her psychic dreams, writing her detailed emails of his emotional journey and hopes for finding a soul mate, etc.
Stuff that makes me gag (mostly because it always seems suspicious to me) but is a total turn-on to my friend. She was head-over-heels for this guy, said she had found her "ethnic-hippie" soul mate. I was genuinely happy for her. Yay, someone had finally found their perfect match! That means there's hope for everyone! Yay, yay, yay! Until...he'd had what he wanted a few times and then suddenly he needed to "find himself" (at 57?) and he needed his "freedom" (after four weeks?). OMG. I'm getting so tired of men. It's seems so depressing and hopeless. How can you trust a one of them? We go into these things with our guards up and so they tell us what we need to hear and our walls begin to crumble and we let them in, ALL the way in, and then, presto change-o, they're gone! 
It seems every single one of them (from 17 - 70) is all about the hunt and using whatever it will take to land the woman who's in their bullseye and then they take us down, skin us emotionally and leave the carcass. Disgusting analogy I know but doesn't it feel like the truth?
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
I completely feel for your friend. It seems like everyone I know has had these same sort of experiences with men. It's like seriously, is this where 2011 is headed?!? Even in the past few weeks I've had a couple of friends dealing with this issue. It's happened to me TWICE in the last year, and it's like WHAT THE FUCK! Remember Mr. Mixed Messages? We went through this multiple times in the eight months that we were dating. He pursued me and sent emails and text messages about how he was falling in love with me and never felt about anyone the way that he felt about me. And then suddenly I would open up and reveal my feelings and he would just VANISH and tell me that I was coming on to strong. We had a horrible ending to our time together... He just stopped talking to me and left the country two weeks after the last time we spoke. Who do they think they are?! I am getting to the point where I wonder why we even bother. They just hurt us and break our hearts. I just don't even know if there are any good ones left. I really don't.
-Sad and Depressed Eager Beaver
I have a friend who dated a man for a month that she met online. And for that month he chased her with everything he had. In this friend's case that meant talking about his spiritual growth, listening to her psychic dreams, writing her detailed emails of his emotional journey and hopes for finding a soul mate, etc.
Stuff that makes me gag (mostly because it always seems suspicious to me) but is a total turn-on to my friend. She was head-over-heels for this guy, said she had found her "ethnic-hippie" soul mate. I was genuinely happy for her. Yay, someone had finally found their perfect match! That means there's hope for everyone! Yay, yay, yay! Until...he'd had what he wanted a few times and then suddenly he needed to "find himself" (at 57?) and he needed his "freedom" (after four weeks?). OMG. I'm getting so tired of men. It's seems so depressing and hopeless. How can you trust a one of them? We go into these things with our guards up and so they tell us what we need to hear and our walls begin to crumble and we let them in, ALL the way in, and then, presto change-o, they're gone! 
It seems every single one of them (from 17 - 70) is all about the hunt and using whatever it will take to land the woman who's in their bullseye and then they take us down, skin us emotionally and leave the carcass. Disgusting analogy I know but doesn't it feel like the truth?-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
I completely feel for your friend. It seems like everyone I know has had these same sort of experiences with men. It's like seriously, is this where 2011 is headed?!? Even in the past few weeks I've had a couple of friends dealing with this issue. It's happened to me TWICE in the last year, and it's like WHAT THE FUCK! Remember Mr. Mixed Messages? We went through this multiple times in the eight months that we were dating. He pursued me and sent emails and text messages about how he was falling in love with me and never felt about anyone the way that he felt about me. And then suddenly I would open up and reveal my feelings and he would just VANISH and tell me that I was coming on to strong. We had a horrible ending to our time together... He just stopped talking to me and left the country two weeks after the last time we spoke. Who do they think they are?! I am getting to the point where I wonder why we even bother. They just hurt us and break our hearts. I just don't even know if there are any good ones left. I really don't.
-Sad and Depressed Eager Beaver
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Please Don't Make the Porn Face!
Eager Beaver,
I hate porn for what it's done to men and how they think sex is supposed to be or at least how it's supposed to look. Last year I went out with a guy who was super nice, good father, great job, nice home, etc. After a couple of weeks of dating we got intimate and when it got time for the big show, that's what I got, a big show. He made the creepiest, stupidest porn faces! Pursing his lips, thrusting his chin out and moaning "Ohhhh baby, ohhhh". Who does that? Absolutely killed the mood for me. Dried up like a car wash sponge left in the Arizona sun. What the hell? What is wrong with men? Stay off the porn! Porn sex is the trailer park of sex. You're making sex un-fun and un-sexy for women! We think you look and sound like idiots! Those people are "ACTING"!!! Acting like they like having group sex, anal sex, sex with super ugly men, etc. Most of the porn stars suffered abuse in their childhoods. They are damaged people with low self-esteem who need to simulate sex for love because they have NO self-love. It's craziness! Stop! Don't look at it for a day, then two days, then a week and come back to earth. Connect with a real woman with real emotions and feel her real body, not some plastic lips and boobs, and rediscover what sex means when you have a real connection with the other person. It is amazing and mind-blowing and soul-stirring! A thousand times better than soul-less porn sex could ever be.
Have any of the guys you've been with turned you off with their bedroom antics?
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This made me laugh out loud. Probably because it's sad because it's so freaking true. It's like, "WHAT THE HELL?!" You're so right... sometimes I just want to tell a guy that I'm with, "STOP making that face, no one is watching you." I've had the unfortunate experience of being with men exactly like you are describing, making faces and noises out of some low-budget poorly cast porno. Whoever told them that this is what women want should be shot for leading them astray. We want men who are focused completely on us and making sure that we are enjoying ourselves. I don't want to worry about the faces I'm making or the sounds that I am making while I'm doing the mattress mambo, and if I'm with a guy who is worried about that, then it takes all of the enjoyment out of it. We are really people... it's supposed to be fun. It's for no one else, except for the parties involved. Maybe we should put out some "anti-porn" videos to help these poor men out!
-Eager Beaver
I hate porn for what it's done to men and how they think sex is supposed to be or at least how it's supposed to look. Last year I went out with a guy who was super nice, good father, great job, nice home, etc. After a couple of weeks of dating we got intimate and when it got time for the big show, that's what I got, a big show. He made the creepiest, stupidest porn faces! Pursing his lips, thrusting his chin out and moaning "Ohhhh baby, ohhhh". Who does that? Absolutely killed the mood for me. Dried up like a car wash sponge left in the Arizona sun. What the hell? What is wrong with men? Stay off the porn! Porn sex is the trailer park of sex. You're making sex un-fun and un-sexy for women! We think you look and sound like idiots! Those people are "ACTING"!!! Acting like they like having group sex, anal sex, sex with super ugly men, etc. Most of the porn stars suffered abuse in their childhoods. They are damaged people with low self-esteem who need to simulate sex for love because they have NO self-love. It's craziness! Stop! Don't look at it for a day, then two days, then a week and come back to earth. Connect with a real woman with real emotions and feel her real body, not some plastic lips and boobs, and rediscover what sex means when you have a real connection with the other person. It is amazing and mind-blowing and soul-stirring! A thousand times better than soul-less porn sex could ever be.
Have any of the guys you've been with turned you off with their bedroom antics?
-Hot Mama
Hot Mama,
This made me laugh out loud. Probably because it's sad because it's so freaking true. It's like, "WHAT THE HELL?!" You're so right... sometimes I just want to tell a guy that I'm with, "STOP making that face, no one is watching you." I've had the unfortunate experience of being with men exactly like you are describing, making faces and noises out of some low-budget poorly cast porno. Whoever told them that this is what women want should be shot for leading them astray. We want men who are focused completely on us and making sure that we are enjoying ourselves. I don't want to worry about the faces I'm making or the sounds that I am making while I'm doing the mattress mambo, and if I'm with a guy who is worried about that, then it takes all of the enjoyment out of it. We are really people... it's supposed to be fun. It's for no one else, except for the parties involved. Maybe we should put out some "anti-porn" videos to help these poor men out!
-Eager Beaver
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Spreading My Wings...
Hot Mama,
I recently got a promotion at work (yay being the Eager Beaver finally paid off!) Anyways, I had to fly across the country for work in Boston. I was so excited to come somewhere that I wasn't very familiar with. Normally when I travel I have the comfort of being with a co-worker or clients, but when I arrived today I was on my own. As part of the new me, I decided to do something that I've never done before. My friend is from here, so I asked him for some recommendations of places to go. I love exploring new places and find myself to be pretty independent. However, there are two things that I have NEVER done by myself: go to a movie alone or eat a nice meal by myself. I proceeded to drive into downtown and walk around and enjoy exploring a new city. Then, I picked the nicest restaraunt around and went in and sat down. I ordered a nice glass of wine and a delicious Italian dinner. Then I sat and enjoyed just being by myself...
It was weird at first, but then it felt kind of nice. I enjoyed my food and wine and was able to relax all by myself. I feel like I am becoming such a WOMAN and such a grown up. And of course while I was sitting there after a while I met a nice guy to entertain me... Maybe I will have to start going out on my own more often!
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I'm proud of you and your attitude towards your new adventures! I will keep it in mind as I try to make it to Vail where the passes are snowed in with avalanches. Hooray! I'll keep you posted as to whether or not I'm as bold as you! Happy Trails!
-Hot Mama
I recently got a promotion at work (yay being the Eager Beaver finally paid off!) Anyways, I had to fly across the country for work in Boston. I was so excited to come somewhere that I wasn't very familiar with. Normally when I travel I have the comfort of being with a co-worker or clients, but when I arrived today I was on my own. As part of the new me, I decided to do something that I've never done before. My friend is from here, so I asked him for some recommendations of places to go. I love exploring new places and find myself to be pretty independent. However, there are two things that I have NEVER done by myself: go to a movie alone or eat a nice meal by myself. I proceeded to drive into downtown and walk around and enjoy exploring a new city. Then, I picked the nicest restaraunt around and went in and sat down. I ordered a nice glass of wine and a delicious Italian dinner. Then I sat and enjoyed just being by myself...
It was weird at first, but then it felt kind of nice. I enjoyed my food and wine and was able to relax all by myself. I feel like I am becoming such a WOMAN and such a grown up. And of course while I was sitting there after a while I met a nice guy to entertain me... Maybe I will have to start going out on my own more often! -Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
I'm proud of you and your attitude towards your new adventures! I will keep it in mind as I try to make it to Vail where the passes are snowed in with avalanches. Hooray! I'll keep you posted as to whether or not I'm as bold as you! Happy Trails!
-Hot Mama
Sunday, January 16, 2011
"Those are Fighting Words..."
Hot Mama,
I'm sure that you have either watched or heard things about, "The Jersey Shore." It's not something that I am proud of, but I'm pretty sure that I have seen almost every episode. Last night, Best and I were watching the newest episode of the show. Yes, it was a Saturday night, and yes we were home on the couch eating FroYo and watching the Shore. But anyways, beside that, we were watching the show which is so notorious for fights.
Especially for girl fights!! So there is this couple on the show Sammi "Sweetheart" and Ronnie. They are a horrible couple, and he's cheated on her, and they always fight with each other and say HORRIBLE things to each other. Well anyways, another one of the female roommates gets upset because Sammi is laughing at her for no reason... The roommate gets really upset and calls Sammi the C-word, and keeps calling her it over and over again, along with a lot of other not so nice words. She goes into the living room and is screaming at all the other roommates about how Sammi is a bitch, blah blah blah. Well it takes a few minutes, but finally Ronnie runs into the room, and I think he's coming in to defend his girlfriend... and tell the new roommate that she can't call his girlfriend those things. 
BUT NO... He comes in and says, "Don't come into my house and say shit like that, this is my fucking house. Don't drag me into your drama. If you have a problem with my girlfriend, you can deal with it with her..." Or something along those lines. REALLY... it's fine that she says those things to your girlfriend, but you just don't want to be a part of it?!? Like seriously... you are such a slimeball and a shitty boyfriend. Chivalry is clearly dead. Not that I expect it from "Jersey Shore," but still... makes me sick.
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Saw the episode. Enough said about my Saturday nights. My thoughts exactly. WTF? Your girlfriend is being abusively, verbally dragged through the muck (pretty much she is a bitch but that's besides the point) and your biggest concern is for YOURSELF? What? What on God's green earth happened to men who defend their women and aren't so concerned with their beauty sleep? Look, Sammi aint no saint but even she deserves a boyfriend better that that. Seriously Sammi pull your head out of your ass, or up off his dick and take a look at the schmuck you're blowing. He's not worth it. Maybe you wouldn't be such a bitch if you were actually in a good mutually-respectful, caring relationship. Go figure
-Hot Mama
I'm sure that you have either watched or heard things about, "The Jersey Shore." It's not something that I am proud of, but I'm pretty sure that I have seen almost every episode. Last night, Best and I were watching the newest episode of the show. Yes, it was a Saturday night, and yes we were home on the couch eating FroYo and watching the Shore. But anyways, beside that, we were watching the show which is so notorious for fights.
Especially for girl fights!! So there is this couple on the show Sammi "Sweetheart" and Ronnie. They are a horrible couple, and he's cheated on her, and they always fight with each other and say HORRIBLE things to each other. Well anyways, another one of the female roommates gets upset because Sammi is laughing at her for no reason... The roommate gets really upset and calls Sammi the C-word, and keeps calling her it over and over again, along with a lot of other not so nice words. She goes into the living room and is screaming at all the other roommates about how Sammi is a bitch, blah blah blah. Well it takes a few minutes, but finally Ronnie runs into the room, and I think he's coming in to defend his girlfriend... and tell the new roommate that she can't call his girlfriend those things. 
BUT NO... He comes in and says, "Don't come into my house and say shit like that, this is my fucking house. Don't drag me into your drama. If you have a problem with my girlfriend, you can deal with it with her..." Or something along those lines. REALLY... it's fine that she says those things to your girlfriend, but you just don't want to be a part of it?!? Like seriously... you are such a slimeball and a shitty boyfriend. Chivalry is clearly dead. Not that I expect it from "Jersey Shore," but still... makes me sick.-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Saw the episode. Enough said about my Saturday nights. My thoughts exactly. WTF? Your girlfriend is being abusively, verbally dragged through the muck (pretty much she is a bitch but that's besides the point) and your biggest concern is for YOURSELF? What? What on God's green earth happened to men who defend their women and aren't so concerned with their beauty sleep? Look, Sammi aint no saint but even she deserves a boyfriend better that that. Seriously Sammi pull your head out of your ass, or up off his dick and take a look at the schmuck you're blowing. He's not worth it. Maybe you wouldn't be such a bitch if you were actually in a good mutually-respectful, caring relationship. Go figure
-Hot Mama
Friday, January 7, 2011
Does this ACTUALLY work??
Hot Mama,
So I've left my match.com profile up, even though I haven't been using it very much or responding to very many emails or anything. I just got burnt out of the same old guys, emailing the same old thing. Normally, I attract guys between 25 and 35, a pretty safe age range for me. However, with it being a new year, I thought I would check in on my profile and see if there was anything good going on. And I've gotten a lot of emails recently, one from a 46 year old man. YES, FORTY-SIX. You seriously think that it is okay for you to be emailing me right now??? I've cut some of the email for your amusement...
Hello...
My name is Kenny. What can I say? I saw your photo and I think you're gorgeous, for starters. I'd like to meet you; I wish I was about 10 years younger. I'm not by any means "old" yet, though..lol. I'm kind of a biker from way back; love the hotrods, but I still have some Armani hangin' in the closet and I like clean. Sold the bike in my profile pictures before I left Florida; Haven't bought another yet. I smoke on occasion but I am quitting. Lost my brother in '87, Dad in '95, Step Dad in '96. Mom's remarried; travels the world but broke her hip 6-8 mos. ago; kind what brought me out here. Also starting over. And that is quite enough said about me. Now I want to know EVERYTHING about you.. I would Love to hear from you, Sweetheart.
I'll understand if you don't respond, though.
Hope you are well,
Kenny
Did you seriously just call me "Sweetheart" in your email to me? Like as if you aren't already old enough to be my father, you have the nerve to call me Sweetheart?! I would just be so curious to know if emails and lines like these ever actually work on women. Because, it is definitely not attracting me or turning me on... not even a little bit! I don't know what I am really expecting from the online dating world, and I know you and I have both had mixed experiences. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just remove my profile all together...
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
OMG! What a freakin' idiot! Really, right now? Like he can't find someone 10 years older or younger than him to "hit" on, if that pathetic freakin' message can be called "hitting" on? I want to barf. It gags me. Newsflash Kenny: that email wouldn't work on a 65 year old! Who wants a chronological list of people from 23 years ago that have died in your life? WTF? What is that supposed to mean even? And, really, do you think a 24 year old gorgeous girl wants to hear that your mother BROKE HER HIP? Classic old person move? Does he need you to nurse her back to health? Oh my God, I can't even stand it, it's soooooooo stupid on so many levels. That being said; you have to stay on for our own amusement and amazement!
-Hot Mama
So I've left my match.com profile up, even though I haven't been using it very much or responding to very many emails or anything. I just got burnt out of the same old guys, emailing the same old thing. Normally, I attract guys between 25 and 35, a pretty safe age range for me. However, with it being a new year, I thought I would check in on my profile and see if there was anything good going on. And I've gotten a lot of emails recently, one from a 46 year old man. YES, FORTY-SIX. You seriously think that it is okay for you to be emailing me right now??? I've cut some of the email for your amusement...
Hello...
My name is Kenny. What can I say? I saw your photo and I think you're gorgeous, for starters. I'd like to meet you; I wish I was about 10 years younger. I'm not by any means "old" yet, though..lol. I'm kind of a biker from way back; love the hotrods, but I still have some Armani hangin' in the closet and I like clean. Sold the bike in my profile pictures before I left Florida; Haven't bought another yet. I smoke on occasion but I am quitting. Lost my brother in '87, Dad in '95, Step Dad in '96. Mom's remarried; travels the world but broke her hip 6-8 mos. ago; kind what brought me out here. Also starting over. And that is quite enough said about me. Now I want to know EVERYTHING about you.. I would Love to hear from you, Sweetheart.
I'll understand if you don't respond, though.
Hope you are well,
Kenny
Did you seriously just call me "Sweetheart" in your email to me? Like as if you aren't already old enough to be my father, you have the nerve to call me Sweetheart?! I would just be so curious to know if emails and lines like these ever actually work on women. Because, it is definitely not attracting me or turning me on... not even a little bit! I don't know what I am really expecting from the online dating world, and I know you and I have both had mixed experiences. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just remove my profile all together...
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
OMG! What a freakin' idiot! Really, right now? Like he can't find someone 10 years older or younger than him to "hit" on, if that pathetic freakin' message can be called "hitting" on? I want to barf. It gags me. Newsflash Kenny: that email wouldn't work on a 65 year old! Who wants a chronological list of people from 23 years ago that have died in your life? WTF? What is that supposed to mean even? And, really, do you think a 24 year old gorgeous girl wants to hear that your mother BROKE HER HIP? Classic old person move? Does he need you to nurse her back to health? Oh my God, I can't even stand it, it's soooooooo stupid on so many levels. That being said; you have to stay on for our own amusement and amazement!
-Hot Mama
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Years Resolution: More Good Lovin'
Hot Mama,
I have decided on my New Years Resolution... Instead of the typical I want to lose 10 lbs or go to the gym more or get healthy or whatever, I have decided that what I really want to work on this year is having more good sex. No, I don't have a serious boyfriend. And I don't even think that that is really even my goal. I am also not just into casual sex either, or a lot of random one night stands. I feel like I need something somewhere right in the middle. A happy medium of sorts. We get so wrapped up in meeting guys and finding the "one." But, I don't think that I'm ready for that right now. I don't need someone to be there all the time or someone who wants to get super serious. Still, I am ready to have my needs met by a guy in 2011... Maybe I should start taking applications right now?? I want someone who I can go out to dinner with, but who is also ready to get down and dirty, whenever I want. I am tired of the infrequency, and trying so hard to please guys like Mr. Mixed Messages, who are so hot and cold. I need a real man, who can take care of me, especially in a physical sort of way! I am so tired of these guys who only care about pleasing themselves. They only want to have sex when they are in the mood, and don't take the time to take care of me when I want. Why do they all think that they are God's gift to women?! Seriously, you are NOT that great. And somehow we put up with them again and again... It isn't all that we deserve. We deserve SO MUCH MORE. So that is my goal in 2011. Yes, I still want to eat healthier and workout more, blah blah blah. But I think that my resolution will definitely be more fun. I am going to stop putting up with guys who are only subpar on the relationship and the bedroom front. I want stellar in both, and I am going to stop accepting less. And you are going to be my sanity-checker. If I start to slip back into my old ways, you have to snap me out of it and remind me of my 2011 resolution. I think that maybe you should go after the same thing. 2011 needs to be our best year yet, in and out of the bedroom!
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Ok. I only read two sentences but I'm in. Great resolution. No, AWESOME RESOLUTION. Consider youself snapped. And please snap me back in line if I start to slip on this one as well. Here's to more sex, not just sex, GREAT F'IN AMAZING, MIND BLOWING sex! Ok, now how do we get started on this resolution again?
-Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama, I will let you know when I find out!!
I have decided on my New Years Resolution... Instead of the typical I want to lose 10 lbs or go to the gym more or get healthy or whatever, I have decided that what I really want to work on this year is having more good sex. No, I don't have a serious boyfriend. And I don't even think that that is really even my goal. I am also not just into casual sex either, or a lot of random one night stands. I feel like I need something somewhere right in the middle. A happy medium of sorts. We get so wrapped up in meeting guys and finding the "one." But, I don't think that I'm ready for that right now. I don't need someone to be there all the time or someone who wants to get super serious. Still, I am ready to have my needs met by a guy in 2011... Maybe I should start taking applications right now?? I want someone who I can go out to dinner with, but who is also ready to get down and dirty, whenever I want. I am tired of the infrequency, and trying so hard to please guys like Mr. Mixed Messages, who are so hot and cold. I need a real man, who can take care of me, especially in a physical sort of way! I am so tired of these guys who only care about pleasing themselves. They only want to have sex when they are in the mood, and don't take the time to take care of me when I want. Why do they all think that they are God's gift to women?! Seriously, you are NOT that great. And somehow we put up with them again and again... It isn't all that we deserve. We deserve SO MUCH MORE. So that is my goal in 2011. Yes, I still want to eat healthier and workout more, blah blah blah. But I think that my resolution will definitely be more fun. I am going to stop putting up with guys who are only subpar on the relationship and the bedroom front. I want stellar in both, and I am going to stop accepting less. And you are going to be my sanity-checker. If I start to slip back into my old ways, you have to snap me out of it and remind me of my 2011 resolution. I think that maybe you should go after the same thing. 2011 needs to be our best year yet, in and out of the bedroom!
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Ok. I only read two sentences but I'm in. Great resolution. No, AWESOME RESOLUTION. Consider youself snapped. And please snap me back in line if I start to slip on this one as well. Here's to more sex, not just sex, GREAT F'IN AMAZING, MIND BLOWING sex! Ok, now how do we get started on this resolution again?
-Hot Mama
Oh Hot Mama, I will let you know when I find out!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
What Are You Doing New Years Eve?
Hot Mama,
I can't possibly be the only person out there to absolutely HATE New Year's Eve. It seems like there is just so much pressure that surrounds the holiday, when in actuality, it is just another day. Why do we have to make such a big deal about it?? It's almost as bad as Valentine's day! If you are seeing someone, then there is all this pressure and question over what you are going to do and how you are going to make it special. Are you going to go out to a special dinner? Or are you just going to spend time together alone?
Or are you going to go to a club with a bunch of your friends? And, it's even worse if you are alone. You go out with your friends, and are surrounded by happy couples, kissing and toasting and ringing in the new year. You try to pretend like it doesn't bother you, and like you are happy for all of those other happy couples. When really, inside your head you are screaming, GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
And movies and television shows make it even worse, with all of the hype that surrounds NYE. I've told you more than once, how much I LOVE, "When Harry Met Sally." And it is one of the most quintessential scenes of any movie ever. When Harry comes to see Sally right before the big countdown, and tells her that he can't live without her.
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." And every single time I watch the movie, I hope that maybe someday I will have a New Years Eve that is half that romantic. And they just never are. It seems like I am always alone, and someone always gets sick, or drinks too much, or wants to go home early. Is it just me?? Do you hate New Years Eve as much as I do? Or do you have some ultra-romantic story to inspire hope within me?
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Well, actually last year I had plans for the first time in a long time; ringing in 2010 at El Gaucho in Seattle. And, amazingly, I met someone! Someone who graduated from a high school that mine competed with, so we had lots in common, also went to the UW like I did, just had many similarities. Couldn't believe my good luck, especially since the MARRIED COUPLE group I was with, and one other single friend, were ready to leave at 11:30!! What? He kissed me at Midnight, hooray, and came back to my friend's condo with all of us, and his friends too, and we stayed up until 3:00. Very fun. Then we saw each other a couple of more times before I had to leave. I had a great romantic weekend, we talked for the week after that trying to figure out when we could see other again, both of us have jobs and kids, and it just didn't work out.
Typically though, have had no plans for fun the last eight years. This New Year's being a little worse than others. Had four friends die in 16 days. Awful, awful, awful. My teenage kids had plans. I sat at home in the dark and cried on the phone with my mother about my friends. About 9 pm I was finally ready to try to escape my grief a little by watching a movie when...my DVD player died. Most horrible, lonely New Year's ever.
I agree, the build-up surrounding New Year's is just as horrible as Valentine's Day. In some ways worse because you're really looking for a sign that you'll somehow have a magical new beginning when in reality it's just a day, a day we made up when man created the calendar. So it has no actual meaning anymore than Valentine's Day does, the Russian and Chinese celebrate a totally different day. It's really weird when you think about it. It's completely fabricated and self-created pressure. F' it. All we've got is today and my friends don't even have that. Each day should be a new beginning...so Happy New Year Eager Beaver. I love you!
-Hot Mama
I can't possibly be the only person out there to absolutely HATE New Year's Eve. It seems like there is just so much pressure that surrounds the holiday, when in actuality, it is just another day. Why do we have to make such a big deal about it?? It's almost as bad as Valentine's day! If you are seeing someone, then there is all this pressure and question over what you are going to do and how you are going to make it special. Are you going to go out to a special dinner? Or are you just going to spend time together alone?
Or are you going to go to a club with a bunch of your friends? And, it's even worse if you are alone. You go out with your friends, and are surrounded by happy couples, kissing and toasting and ringing in the new year. You try to pretend like it doesn't bother you, and like you are happy for all of those other happy couples. When really, inside your head you are screaming, GAG ME WITH A SPOON!And movies and television shows make it even worse, with all of the hype that surrounds NYE. I've told you more than once, how much I LOVE, "When Harry Met Sally." And it is one of the most quintessential scenes of any movie ever. When Harry comes to see Sally right before the big countdown, and tells her that he can't live without her.
"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." And every single time I watch the movie, I hope that maybe someday I will have a New Years Eve that is half that romantic. And they just never are. It seems like I am always alone, and someone always gets sick, or drinks too much, or wants to go home early. Is it just me?? Do you hate New Years Eve as much as I do? Or do you have some ultra-romantic story to inspire hope within me?
-Eager Beaver
Eager Beaver,
Well, actually last year I had plans for the first time in a long time; ringing in 2010 at El Gaucho in Seattle. And, amazingly, I met someone! Someone who graduated from a high school that mine competed with, so we had lots in common, also went to the UW like I did, just had many similarities. Couldn't believe my good luck, especially since the MARRIED COUPLE group I was with, and one other single friend, were ready to leave at 11:30!! What? He kissed me at Midnight, hooray, and came back to my friend's condo with all of us, and his friends too, and we stayed up until 3:00. Very fun. Then we saw each other a couple of more times before I had to leave. I had a great romantic weekend, we talked for the week after that trying to figure out when we could see other again, both of us have jobs and kids, and it just didn't work out.
Typically though, have had no plans for fun the last eight years. This New Year's being a little worse than others. Had four friends die in 16 days. Awful, awful, awful. My teenage kids had plans. I sat at home in the dark and cried on the phone with my mother about my friends. About 9 pm I was finally ready to try to escape my grief a little by watching a movie when...my DVD player died. Most horrible, lonely New Year's ever.
I agree, the build-up surrounding New Year's is just as horrible as Valentine's Day. In some ways worse because you're really looking for a sign that you'll somehow have a magical new beginning when in reality it's just a day, a day we made up when man created the calendar. So it has no actual meaning anymore than Valentine's Day does, the Russian and Chinese celebrate a totally different day. It's really weird when you think about it. It's completely fabricated and self-created pressure. F' it. All we've got is today and my friends don't even have that. Each day should be a new beginning...so Happy New Year Eager Beaver. I love you!
-Hot Mama
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