Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Sometimes it would be nice...

Hot Mama,

There is no time like the holidays to make you realize that sometimes it would just be nice to have a man around. I feel like I am a very competent and new-age kind of woman, and that I can handle almost anything that life throws my way. I can take care of a clogged drain and can do my own taxes. I've said it before, and I will say it again, I am happy to be a single lady. It's just that there are some things that I would NOT like to HAVE to do. As I am in my apartment struggling to take down all of my Christmas decorations, I just wish that there was someone else here to help me with all the heavy lifting. My Best is a fantastic roommate and a great help, but we are both 5'7" and not exactly made of muscle.


I am now sitting, starring at my Christmas tree, wondering how in the hell I am going to get it out of my apartment. It is almost ten feet tall, and equally as big around. There is no way two twenty-somethings can carry it down two flights of stairs and out of our apartment. How am I going to lift it out of the stand? I just want a nice, strong, handsome man to come in and take care of it for me! I want him to lift up all of my heavy boxes of decorations and put them back into storage with me. I want to cook him a nice dinner and drink a glass of wine, and give him a kiss and a pat on the back as he does all of the manly-work! I am tired of being the woman AND the man of the house. Ugh, I feel so bad even saying this. But sometimes I just want to be June Cleaver. I want to be Lucille Ball. I want to do my womanly duties, and have a testosterone filled man to take care of the rest!
-Struggling and Frustrated Eager Beaver

Eager Beaver,

Oh dear. I totally understand. Over the holidays my son's bedroom door came unhinged, my refrigerator died, my Mom dropped her garage door on my car, my DVD player died, the caulking 'round my tub came undone, my car's brakes started making a funny noise and did I mention my Christmas decorations are still up as well? Can I solve all these problems myself? After some time and research and asking lots of questions, of course. Do I want to? No, I don't. End of story. I work full time, have two kids, pets and a house to maintain. I'm tired of being self-sufficient. If you find a nice, handy, handsome man for yourself will you please ask if he has a single Uncle for me?
-Hot Mama

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